Most plans are spur of the moment.
Your phone buzzes. It’s 11pm on a Friday night. You’re about to turn in after a quiet evening at home with a book. “Want 2 hang out?” This is code for something, and you know exactly what it is. “I couldn’t find anyone else so now I’m talking to you, Ms. Last Resort.” Pass.
They don’t take you to bigger events.
You know you’re an option and not really a priority when they don’t want to take you out in public to bigger events like parties, weddings, or birthdays. You’re a side thing, not the real deal.
They frequently bail on you.
Their plans are spur of the moment, and while they might agree to do something you want to at a future date, they often bail on you. This probably means that they found someone or something better to occupy their time.
It takes hours or days to reply to a text.
If you were a priority to this person, yeah, maybe sometimes they wouldn’t get back to you right away, but generally, you should be getting a reply back pretty quick. If they get back to you when it’s convenient, chances are, you’re a convenience.
You put in all the effort.
Let me guess: you make all the plans. You put in all the effort. They seem reluctant. If that’s the case, you’re definitely not a priority.
They say you’re too needy.
And this is the biggest crock of them all. When you reach out, or when you stand up for yourself, they put you down as too needy. Here’s an idea: forget them. Delete their number. Don’t respond to texts. Move on.