A divorce can be the most difficult thing let you go through in your life. It tends to bring out the worst in people. You will quickly discover how evil your spouse can be when there is a fight over money and children. When you introduce litigation attorneys to the mix, it can become brutal and expensive.
Certainly, most people would choose a more peaceful path to divorce if they were aware there was one. Typically, we get our advice from people we know who have gone through divorces but rarely do we hear from people who have used an alternative method of divorce that costs less and it’s less stressful. Next song
You just never know how bad things can get. If you can do any preparation before you file for divorce, you will be in a better position, i.e., set some cash aside. Try to pay down your bills ahead of time if possible. It is quite common for one partner to try to cut the other one off of money as a form of control. Do not be surprised if you find yourself without money for food or clothing. When people get angry, they do not think about the ramifications for their children. They just think about themselves, their own anger, and getting revenge.
A divorce mediator is a great alternative that will cost less, be less stressful and keep everybody’s emotions at bay. If you can have a civil conversation with your spouse and come to an agreement about some basic terms, there is a good chance you might be able to work with a divorce mediator to speed up the divorce process and save a lot of money. In fact, you can save thousands of dollars.
Divorce can be very ugly and expensive because it can go on for a long time, often many years going back and forth to the court waiting for paperwork. The longer a divorce goes on more the lawyers make. So, it is to their benefit for the divorce to become heated, for the argument to continue, and for the two of you to not work together at all to sort things out.
A divorce mediator does not actually represent either one of you. The mediator helps the two of you to work out the terms of your agreement. You will meet for counseling sessions to get through all the different points of the agreement with the goal of having a draft at the conclusion. Separate attorneys will review that draft to represent each one of you. If the argument becomes heated because one person does not want to negotiate at all then the mediator will send you both on your separate ways because she cannot help you anymore. At that point then you are stuck going to an attorney.
But if you can have a discussion ahead of time about the benefits of doing this through the mediator, especially the fact that the kids we spared a lot of stress from the two of you fighting, you may be able to get your partner on board to cooperate and behave civilly.
Although a mediator may not work for everyone, there are many benefits to working with one and it is worthwhile trying it if your partner will cooperate.