By: Paul Hudson
Love comes in many different shades of color.
Whenever love exists between two individuals, it is — at the very least — slightly different than any love that existed before it, and any love that will exist after it.
Love is created between two individuals, and just as no two individuals are the same, neither can the love between them be the same, however, love is still love.
When we see it, we recognize it — no matter how many shades lighter or darker it may be than anything we’ve previously experienced.
If I had to describe love in one sentence, I would describe it as such: Love is that which we believe worth fighting for.
How much we are willing to fight for it, how much we are willing to suffer for it and give up for it lets us know how true it really is.
The only love worth having is the one worth fighting for — because anything short of that just isn’t love.
If you aren’t willing to fight for it, then you clearly don’t want it enough.
It doesn’t matter whether we’re talking about life goals or lovers, if you aren’t willing to fight for them, if you aren’t willing to get your hands dirty, to go out of your way and make an effort to hold on to them, then you just don’t want them enough.
And regardless of whether it’s a goal or other, if you don’t want it enough, then you don’t deserve it.
People have many wants and urges. We often want more than is good for us — and this doesn’t change when it comes to attention or love.
We’re social gluttons of sorts. We want to be loved. We want to be taken care of. We want to feel like we’ve found our home.
Which is great, except all those things we want do little more than build us a wider comfort zone.
No one, and I mean no one, lives a happy life entirely inside his or her comfort zone. Finding someone worth fighting for drags you out of that zone and into a more eventful life.
The question is do you love this person enough to step out of your comfort zone and into the ring to fight for him or her?
If you never feel you need to fight for it, then you’re likely to get bored with it.
One of the main reasons a love worth fighting for is the only love worth having is it’s the only sort of relationship that will keep our attention for long enough.
I know this may sound a bit exhausting, but unfortunately, it’s true.
People get bored with things and individuals who don’t require somewhat regular attention.
Of course, too much attention or too much fighting tires us and makes us feel like the relationship is too much work, but a relationship that requires no energy is a dead relationship.
It’s not just about finding a love worth fighting for; it’s about finding a love we need to fight for.
Now, here’s the part that most people overlook entirely: Every single loving relationship necessarily must be fought for. It’s the nature of relationships.
All relationships, at the very least, take work. Fighting for love doesn’t always mean fighting off other suitors or making incredible sacrifices in the name of love.
Often, it’s simply making sure to make that extra effort, week in and week out, for the rest of your lives together.
It’s not a glorious battle, but it is one fought over a lifetime. And as far as wars go, a lifetime is a long time.
In life, it’s only the things we believe worth fighting for that are important to us.
Are you having trouble understanding yourself? Your life? Are you uncertain as to what you ought to do, where you ought to go, whom you ought to be? You’re not alone.
Many an individual in this world seems to be lost or confused about his or her purpose in life — it’s natural.
Especially for those living comfortable lives in which survival isn’t on the top of the priorities list, already feeling like it’s a given.
When life is good to us from the start, it can be difficult to find our place in it. It’s not our fault; it’s the way human beings were designed.
We’re survivalists who are so intelligent, many of us no longer fear the possibility of not meeting our most basic needs.
The problem with this is because we never have to fight for anything, we never understand what is worth fighting for.
This is often why loss, losing something or someone, or fighting off that loss shows us what that thing or person means to us.
Fighting may be animalistic in nature, but we are animals after all.
If you aren’t willing to fight for it, then I’m sorry… but that person deserves better.
Every man, woman and in between deserve someone who loves them so much that he or she would be willing to fight for them tooth and nail.
If you really think about it, having someone willing to fight for you, to protect you, to even fight your battles if need be, is exactly the reason human beings partnered up to begin with.
We seem to have this ingrained in us, literally needing a partner who — at the very least — we believe would fight for us if it came down to it.
Not even necessarily fight for us with fists but fight for us with the decisions they make, the way they plan our lives, the way they forgive and do all they can to keep the relationship together.
Anything else feels like abandonment. Jumping ship when the waters get rough causes the entire relationship to drown. No one deserves to be abandoned, especially not at a time of need.
If you aren’t willing to fight for the love the two of you share, then she deserves better. He deserves better.
You deserve to be better.